I May Trip

These last 2 weeks, I had my weekend out of the town. Kind of fun, actually. The good news is next weekend I'll have another trip. The weird thing is, the name of the towns that I went to are both starts with S. They are Solo and Semarang. And for the next weekend, I'll go to Salatiga. All of them are in Central Java. There's one more weird thing. The syllables of the town's name are like 'upgrading' from one to another. You see, 'Solo' has 2 syllable, 'Semarang' has 3 syllable, and 'Salatiga' has 4 syllable. haha

It's fun not just because I'm having some trip, but it feels like a big present to me. After having such a tiring months, I could have some trip, 3 weeks in a row! :D

HORAYYYY for me :3

senandung semangat

waaaahh setelah sekian lama-lama mengidam-idamkan hal itu, akhirnya kesampean juga. seneng banget rasanya.. semoga aja besok berjalan lancar dan Tuhan kasih yang terbaik :)
I love you so much, God :*

Wrong Time

oh damn.
bener" gak tepat waktunya. di saat banyak tugas begini, entah kenapa, gak ada semangat sama sekali. fokus aja enggak. entah ini kesambet apadeh -_-padahal dari 5 sketsa yang harus dikerjain, masih ada 2 lagi. tapi tetep aja, gak ada semangat sama sekali.

oooooo... what to do???
semangat... fokus... tolong dong... rasuki akuuuu
huhuhu T_T

Reborn

Heeeiii... long time no post.. haha
I'm a college girl now.wow.. #bangga

Ini suatu pelajaran besar dalam pengalaman mengambil langkah buat masa depan sejujurnya.

Di sini gue ngerasain banget yang namanya "Rencana Tuhan itu Indah".

Jadi gini nih. Dari dulu gue enggak pernah ada ketertarikan masuk Universitas Atma Jaya (entah yang di Jogja maupun di Jakarta). Itupun gue gak tahu kenapa.hehe
Gue emang mimpi pengen jadi mahasiswa Universitas Gadjah Mada Yogyakarta .

Jadilah saat UAJY buka pendaftaran buat jalur prestasi (antara sekolah), di mana teman-teman gue pada rame-rame daftar, gue diem aja. (bukan kepedean juga benernya, tapi emang gak minat sih)

Stupidity and “Inconsolable”

Saya bisa bilang kalau saya orang yang kelewat idiot. Kelewat bodoh, tapi itu kata saya sih, enggak tahu gimana pendapat orang lain atau mungkin yang ngebaca post ini.

Ceritanya gini, ada seseorang (sebut aja B) yang sehari-hari saya bener-bener perhatiin, pada suatu malam, dia ada kegiatan sampe malem dan dia enggak ngasih kabar sama sekali ke saya.

Ok, saya ngerti sih, dia pasti capek, dsb hingga emang enggak memungkinkan untuk ngasih kabar ke saya. Namun, ya itu tadi, SAYA KELEWAT IDIOT. Jadi saya tetep aja kemat-kemut sendiri kepikiran si B. Hal ini juga sukses membuat saya enggak bisa tidur karena ditambah firasat bahwa saya, dalam beberapa jam ke depan, akan dikejutkan oleh sesuatu yang menyangkut masa lalunya yang nantinya akan membuat saya amat sangat sensitif. Dan benar saja, setelah sukses lelap selama 3 jam, saya terbangun dan menemukan sebuah SMS dari sebuah jejaring sosial yang saya ikuti tentang status si B, yang (menurut feeling) saya adalah perihal masa lalu B yang….Well, yup, his past and it made me pretty sensitive about it ..

And I must say, that is my stupidity..

curhat sama Dia

Dulu saya bukanlah orang yang benar-benar rajin berdoa. Bahkan saya tidak cukup mengerti apa makna dari berdoa. Namun, setelah menemukan suatu hantaman yang berarti dan tidak ada tempat untuk menuangkan isi hati, saya pun mencoba curahat pada Dia Yang Mahakuasa. Memang klise dan mungkin berlebihan kesannya .. hehe.

Detik-detik pertama, saya ngerasa freak sih. Namun, terus saya coba enjoydan lanjut curhat. Setelah kecapekan curhat, saya pun tertidur. Tiba-tiba tengah malam saya terbangun dan ingin berdoa, melanjutkan curhatan saya. Setelah itu, saya pun tidur lagi.

Pagi-pagi saya bangun, saya merasa biasa saja, tapi pada hari itu, beberapa hal mengesalkan yang saya curhatin ke Dia berubah menjadi lebih baik.

Saya pun sadar, dalam berdoa, berbicara dengan-Nya, Dia bekerja untuk kita mendapat hal-hal yang lebih baik. Jadi, sejak saat itu pun saya mempercayai bahwa Dia benar-benar mendengar doa setiap umat-Nya dan selalu memberikan yang terbaik untuk kita. :D

Wat I Glad n I Regret (part 2: A Great City Called Yogyakarta)

There are some things about living in Yogyakarta that I should be glad and what I regret.

I’m glad:
1. Yes, I do have a new life. I can do everything that I want to do. No more being behind the mask. It’s the real me :D
2. I finally found what it’s called ‘Best friends’! I really love you, guys!♥
3. I’ve learnt what it’s called a ‘Sacrifice of Love’ and I got all of that from someone I fell for. (I thought) It was worth to fight for. There were some nice and sweet unforgettable memories and so valuable in my life.
4. I have a lotta unexpected but amazing experiences. (In this 1 year, compared with 7 years living in Surabaya, nothing great happen there) xD
5. Finally, I can use and improve my skills! :D
6. I am ‘somebody’ now. I could be useful for many people. I could help a lotta people with what I have. And that feels really great.
7. This city really does have all I want : (All) Arts, Nature, Cultures, all-level citizens (no extreme differences between one and others), and more freedom in life.
8. Everyone care, respect, and regards one another . This is what I’ve been looking for in my life about a promising place.
9. I’ve grow better than ever and I feel better than ever.

I regret:
1. Separated from someone that I really love, wasn’t an easy thing to get through (just so you know ) . And because of I moved here, I was blamed by him.
(well, HEY! Look at yourself! What’ve you done to me so I left you? Open up your eyes!)
2. Because of a Long Distance, I gotta let him go. May be forever? IDK, but I know it’s the best way for both of us. I don’t wanna hurt him too by this distance. Nothing about love needs to be forced.
3. I still can’t get over him , and that ruined my dailies. T.T
4. Why is it so hard to find a new love? But I believe I'll find one someday...

Wat I’m Glad n I Regret (part 1: A City Called Surabaya)

There are 2 things about Surabaya dat I should be glad and what I regret.
First, when I live there,
And Second, when I left.

Lived in Surabaya
I’m glad that:
1. I could learn what it’s called a‘Real Love’, ‘First Love’, and ‘Sacrifice of Love’ . I had my first love.
2. I could see the damned side of the 2nd biggest city in Indonesia
3. I could learn which ones that are called a ‘Real Friend’, ‘Best friend’, and ‘Fake Friends’
4. I had great course friends and elementary pals
5. I had some good memories with my elementary pals and some unforgettable moments in English course.

I regret:
1. I felt the pain of loving someone . I thought he’s my first love , but thank God I was wrong. I couldn’t have him on that time, and I never could get over it (but I believe someday I will :) ).
2. Sunday, June 29, 2008 . Sometimes and somehow, I wish there’s nothing special happened on that day, so I won’t feel any worse pain caused by love by now.
3. I couldn’t find a real friend. Only few people and that’s really hard to find at that time.
4. I was nobody It’s like, I don’t belong there and I couldn’t do anything to be the real me. That’s painful.
5. I had nobody . Real friends were so hard to find. Fake friends and people surrounded me . I had a best friend whom I love, but he couldn’t keep his own promise. So shame.
6. Betrayed by someone I thought she was my friend and she destroyed all my dreams.
7. There were much more nightmares and bad memories than ever.

Left Surabaya
I’m glad that:
1. I started a new life, and got away from all those fuckin bad fortunes I got.
2. I (thought I) could erase all those painful memories bout my first love.
3. I know I will have a better life and fortunes
4. I could be who I am and who I wanna be. Just like the original soundtrack of “Camp Rock” which sung by Demi Lovato, “This Is Me”. Or Kelly Clarkson's. Breakaway and break free.
5. I’ll live in a city which has all that I want : (All) Arts, Nature, Cultures, all-level citizens (no extreme differences between one and others), more freedom in life
6. I could be someone new and have what I always dream.
7. Run away from fake happy and “all-fine” conditions with fake people and friends
8. I wanna search for a new life of love.

I regret:
1. Sunday, June 29 2008 . I met someone that was too little too late to came back into my life.
2. I had to separate with some of my real friends.
3. I gotta leave someone that I fell for.
4. Unexpectedly, he came back into my life. It made the situation complicated.
5. I became to feel such hatred of Surabaya.

Tak Berdaya

Terangkatku ke nirwana

Begitu desir itu sentuh telingaku

Ketika mataku menjadi sejuk

Dan berbagai kembang hiasi jiwaku

Namun seketika sebuah jembatan muncul

berhias tanda tanya

perlukah ku seberangi

dan kembali ke masa itu

Akankah kuraih jelita?

Akankah langitku tetap menjadi atap duniaku?

Atau akankah ku bersemayam dalam kelam

Tanpa cahaya kesetiaan?

Aku hanya ingin dapat

membingkai senyum ini

dalam bingkai perak

berhias ukiran cinta

Namun apakah impian ini terwujud

Atau haruskah kuterus pejamkan mata

dan tinggal dalam angan?

Aku pun tak tahu